To the lovely Gareth (see comments)

I say, 'darling, that's a nice boy view'. The ratings have gone through the roof (presumably since hot action with a playgirl albeit one glued to the mirror (that's glued, not pinned!) has become a feature). I know that I am not the only saddo suffering from CLI obsessive compulsive disorder. Saturday night saw me sitting with fellow compulsives as a CLI themed barbie, with an eviction sweepstake the focus of the evening's entertainment. Admittedly I was the only one rocking and rubbing her hands together during the build up, but I was also the winner of the fabulous eight pound bonanza. Maybe there's a link? Ailsa gets back from a weekend in Ireland and is almost as desperate for a CLI update as she is to hear the details of my renewed text relationship with the famous funny man.

Which, obviously I could fill you in on. Seeing as how I am currently succeeding in making him think I am a slightly unhinged loon, and luring him towards retracting the offer of a date / coffee faster than you can say 'stop, now woman!'; I'll leave it there for the time being.